Repentace

I've had enough! I'm tired of living only in partial truth to the world. I'm so afraid to talk about my sin that I hide it away, my filthy secret. But it's eating me up inside and I have to talk about it or it will destroy me. I must confess my sin, as it says in James, "So confess your sins to one another and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great effectiveness."(James 5:16, NET). I have been living a life with a mind full of lust and even a lust for lust. It has manifested in many ways, but God is not done with me yet, and is working to guide me through true repentance. This is one of the steps. God gave me three songs today from Brian "Head" Welch, and I will give them to you in the order in which God gave them to me:

Adonai:
Understand It's for the sake Of every man That I must take This whole world back To make things right I will attack I came to fight

I will rise a generation up to be my soldiers I will tie my heart to yours put my head on your shoulders Make your escape from life with Adonai Everything in life depends on Adonai

Natural disasters will keep coming but don't worry My people don't live in fear of death that's how you should be Make your escape from life with Adonai Everything in life depends on Adonai
Lift all your worries up to Adonai You will all stop hurting come to Adonai Leave me alone now
I'm not from here My home's in Heaven Leave me alone Rise Rise up Adonai

Let your worries rest on Adonai Life is just a test from Adonai Make your escape from life with Adonai Everything in life depends on Adonai Lift all your worries up to Adonai
You will all stop hurting come to Adonai

Save Me From Myself:
My hell Another day in life Which way will I go? Will I pick suicide? How do I say no? The demons are calling me "Just one more line" Voices echoing in my head These thoughts aren't mine Chop it Snort it The kid? Ignore it Life sucks I'm over it

Save me from myself Can't quit I tried it Your love? Denied it Can't fake it I hate it Please help me God Save me from myself I'm beggin you God Save me from my hell

Chillin in my own gutter I've sunk so low I want to be a good father, but Here the voices go
Chop it Snort it The kid? Ignore it Life sucks I'm over it

Wake up Wasted Get up Wasted Go out Wasted Come home So Wasted Play shows Wasted
Pimp hoes Wasted Life blows I'm Wasted No more living Wasted!

Drug use I kicked it Abuse I kicked it I'm through I kicked it I won't kill myself Depression I kicked it Suicide I kicked it Telling lies I kicked it I won't kill myself

Father! Thank You! Father! I live for You now! Oh my God I live For You now

L.O.V.E.:
I gave you everything All the pain life brings Just to get you to come back to Me I want to give you light I don't want to ever fight Stop resisting and come home to Me
You're so afraid of love There's not much time
All the pain inside just makes you want to die

Love Me Don't hate Me You're angry It's OK Trust Me Come this way Live in Eternity
I'm the real drug to take To numb your heartache
Stop your running and come back to Me

I've had it up to here I cried way too many tears You'll keep suffering til you come to me
Outside you act so tough But inside you cry All the pain inside just makes you want to die

Love Me Don't hate Me You're angry It's OK Trust Me Come this way Live in Eternity

Your soul is Mine Your soul is Mine I don't want to fight Your soul is Mine Don't be unkind
Your soul is Mine Your soul is Mine

I don't lie I swear you'll never die Stay alive When I restore all mankind

Love Me Don't hate Me You're angry It's OK Trust Me Come this way Live in Eternity Come see
You'll soon be Not guilty
And set free

When he says drugs in the songs, I replace it with lust or sin. God I must repent! "Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is." (Romans 12:2). I need your prayers for healing on this, not just for my sake, but for the sake of Courtney, my wife, who is deeply hurt by my sin.

Lord, please send your spirit to renew my mind and make me a new person, free from this sin. Amen.

A Prayer

Oh Lord God, Oh! Jesus, You are God alone! In You was all created, and through You all are saved. I am a sinner and weak, yet You have saved me and You chose me. Please help me, Oh my God! I am your humblest of humble servants, and have no strength to serve you on my own. Set me on fire, Jesus. Holy Spirit, be the tongue of fire of my heart, till I am exploding with loving deeds for Christ. Help me to witness to my coworkers for you. Help me to be a light in that dark, dark place. My actions, my living the gospel without speaking Your name, is not enough. Lord, please give me the courage, the boldness, and the love to speak Your name, the mighty name of Jesus, at work. I pray too Lord that I would be able to speak of You to Joe, my DM. I weak and trembling. I am terrified of what they will say if I tell them of You, Jesus, but how can I stay silent? If I do, I am sinning and aiding their passage to Hell. May it never be! Oh Lord, make this coward a lion of courage, so I may have the privilege of serving You, the one true and Living God. You are King forever Jesus and I love you with all my Heart. Father God, you rule all and you rule me; Holy Spirit, you are the fire that fuels my soul. I praise the most Holy Three-In-One! Amen.

God's Sovereignty and Gender

God put it on my heart to write on a very tough subject, one that I have thought hard about. Today I wish to discuss the issues of gender and more specifically, gender identity. I'm sure a lot of us have a lot of thoughts on the subject, most quite negative. What are we to think of people who wish to change or at least act like the opposite gender? Obviously this is sin, but the matter is only indirectly spoken of in Scripture. What God's perfect word says is this: "A woman must not wear men’s clothing, and a man must not wear women’s clothing. The Lord your God detests people who do this."(NLT.) We know that most people who would commit the sin warned against here would do so because they have homosexual desires, which is also expressly forbidden by God in His word (Genesis 2:18-24; Leviticus 18:22; Romans1:18-27; 1 Corinthians 6:9). Thus we follow this line of thinking to gender identity. People who desire to change their gender most often start as homosexuals and/or transvestites, two things which we have seen are in clear violation of God's laws and heart.
But why is this? What is the issues here that causes God to rule so on this subject? God never chooses on a whim. God is not petty, nor does He simply choose things to make us suffer. And while often we do not know the reason why God has made a particular ruling, this is a subject where we do. The issue is this: it is actually a matter of questioning the sovereignty of God. David writes in Psalm 139:13, "You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb."(NLT.) First, we can infer that "...all the delicate, inner parts of my body..." includes those parts that determine gender; we can also see that God took specific care in the making of David, and of us all. This is the sovereignty of God: that He is mindful, knowledgeable, and yes, in control of all things. Thus He is in control of each and every one of our genders as we are born. Therefore to seek to change our gender is in reality an act of rebellion, even if it is a subconscious one. What we are saying is that what God chose for us is wrong, that we know better than God. Anyone who has even an inkling of who God truly is knows that do make such a claim is the extreme of hubris and foolishness.
Now many people who have or are seeking to commit this sin are under the lies of Satan, as Jesus told us in John 8:44, "You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it." (NKJV.) Specifically Jesus is talking to the Pharisees, the Jewish religious leaders of the day, but this verse reveals the character of the Devil. The lies that directly relates to gender identity is that one: It is merely a psychological disorder, and therefore out of the control of the person diagnosed with it. Thus most psychologists today will recommend the treatment of Gender identity Disorder (GID), or "gender dysphoria" disconnection from one's biological gender, should have the reconstructive surgery and hormone therapy to align their body up with their mental perception. Essential they are prescribed to get the sex change operation. The second lie is that is not only not a mental disorder, but not even wrong, merely the way some people are. Both of these lies from Satan result in the same conclusion: that the person should change their gender. God is not even considered in this decision process.
The most disturbing and sickening thing in this whole topic is that children, let me repeat, children are being diagnosed by psychologists with this condition, and I'm referring to prepubescent children who are mentally incapable of comprehending such things. Their parents are then encouraging them to experiment and chose their gender! Oh how lost this nation is, how far from God we have strayed!
What must we as Christians do about all of this? First and foremost, we must pray for the lost of this nation. God loves them, and if they are willing to repent of this sin and accept Jesus as their savior, God will accept them just as much as He will accept anyone else. Then we must go out and not be afraid to witness to such people. Obviously there are certain precautions and situations we should avoid as we do this, but they absolutely must here about the truth and love of Jesus Christ. They cannot be saved from their sin until they do. Then we must beware of any prejudice we might have against such people. Jesus told us in Matthew 22:39, "A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. " (NLT.) We know from the parable of the Good Samaritan that people who struggle with the sins of homosexuality, or transvestitism, or transgenderism are our neighbors. We are to love them with a godly love that tells them the truth of their sin and shows them the path to healing and redemption, but not a weak worldly love that says that they are right. These people are sick with sin and lost in the darkness of the world. We must point them to the light of the world and the great physician, Jesus Christ. Only He can truly save and heal them. The last thing that I must point out, and quite possibly the most painful is that if we as believers are honest with ourselves before God, many of us would admit to struggling with these sins, even if we do not fully give in; we have no room to say that we are any better or less sinful than them, even if we do not struggle in this area. Jesus said, "And I, the Son of Man, have come to seek and save those like him who are lost." Everyone is lost until they find Jesus (Romans 3:23). We must pray for them and tell homosexuals, transvestites, and transgender people of Jesus Christ!

Life after Graduation

It has almost been a week since I graduated college! The idea is amazing and scary all at the same time. On the one hand, I am done with all of my classes, all of my papers, and all of the deadlines and stress that go with them. On the other hand though, I am only a few months away from student teaching. This is it; this is the real deal. This is when I get to find out how much I actually learned, where all of my learning and effort begin to seriously count. That brings with it it's own brand of pressure. While I ponder this and realize that if I screw this up, then I could blow four years of work, and it will effect my wife, not just me. On top of all that are my thoughts about my future. Where should I try to work? Should I just look for work in Omaha, or should I think about moving back to Colorado? I want to do what God wants me to do, but so far He has not given me any specific word as to what and where He wants me. It's quite a jumble of emotionally weighty thoughts swirling around in my mind. I could be very depressed right now because of it all, but I am not. And I want to tell you why: because I trust in the Lord my God. He is completely sovereign over my life, and He has allowed me to go through this period of uncertainty to remind me that it is in Him I put my trust, it is Him that I get my strength from and no one else.
His word has such wonderful promises and truths on this subject. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths."(NKJV). My own understanding shows me only pressure and uncertainty, but I know that God is with me every single step every single day, and He will not abandon me. Proverbs 16:9 tells us, "We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps." (NLT). So here I am, ever before the Lord. I will be living in Omaha at least one more year, while my wife finishes her Associates degree. After that, for now it is up to us. We will make our plans, choosing what we want to do, and working to do it, then God will direct our steps. He has not forgotten us, but is waiting for us to do our part of the work before he gives us further instructions.
So I am at the crossroads of faith. I can step out in faith and do this hard work and make the hard decisions, and trust that God will guide me, or I can simply give it all up and go my own way away from Him. I chose faith.

His Grace is Sufficient for Me

But He said to me, “My grace is enough for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” So then, I will boast most gladly about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may reside in me." (2 Cor 12:9, NET). The world tells us that we have to be the strongest, fastest, smartest, best looking, healthiest, and riches to be successful, to have meaning in this life. But God's world give us the opposite picture. In this passage Paul tells us that the mighty grace of Jesus Christ our Lord is so powerful, that we don't have to be any of those things to matter. God loves us, and His grace makes it ok that we are weak and fleshly. Now that does not mean that sin is acceptable; Paul makes this clear in Romans 6:1 & 2, "What shall we say then? Are we to remain in sin so that grace may increase? Absolutely not! How can we who died to sin still live in it?" (NKJV). It does mean that God loves us even when we fall and fall and fall. This is not a new idea for most Christians, but when that is exactly where we are in our walk with God, we are edified when the Holy Spirit reminds us of the unfathomable love of Jesus. "And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep His love is." (Ephesians 3:18, NLT). And a true understanding of Christ's love will create in us a response to obey Him. But every bit of it is Jesus, we get no credit: Jesus gives us the love and grace we need in our weakness, and then it is His power that makes us able to respond in thankful obedience. Never do we have the power ourselves. But as Paul says, that is a glorious truth that we should be proud of: we are weak, but Christ is strong!

The Elementary Principles of the Christian Faith

"Therefore we must progress beyond the elementary instructions about Christ and move on to maturity, not laying this foundation again: repentance from dead works and faith in God, teaching about baptisms, laying on of hands, resurrection of the dead, and eternal judgment," (Hebrews 6:1-2 NET). These verses clearly lays out the six basic principles that we as Christians must understand if we are to grow in maturity of faith. The first, repentance, tells us that it is faith in Jesus and not works that save us. The second is quite controversial: "teachings on baptisms." (emphasis added). Notice that it does not say baptism, singular, but baptisms, plural. Evangelicals, especially Calvinists, love to quote Ephesians 4:4-6 which says,"There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all" (NKJV). But that one baptism is the one "Baptism of the Holy Spirit", not one baptism in all of our faith. Laying on of hands is a command for the pastors and elders of churches, for sending people out to God's calling (Acts 13:1-3) and for the healing of the sick (James 5:14). Resurrection of the dead is one we are familiar with, and that relates to the events surrounding Jesus' resurrection (Matthew 28, Mark 16, Luke 24, John 20) and the resurrection of the dead at the Rapture (1Thess 4:13-18). Eternal judgment is a hot button issue as well because many, many Christians don't want to believe in Hell. It is a real place, and if you die before believing in Christ, you will go there (2 Peter 2:4-9). The Devil is real, and he will do everything in his power to see as many people as possible go to Hell too (1 Peter 5:8).
Now most of what I have explained here is my opinion about these subjects. The one exception is eternal judgment. You cannot be a true follower of Christ if you do not understand that it is real. As for the other however, there are many opinions on them. You don't need to take my opinion on it; instead I exhort you to research the topics by reading commentaries about them and most importantly by searching the scriptures and seeing what they say about these subjects. Then you should discern what you believe about them, for then you will be able to grow in Christ.

The Promises of God

1 Corinthians 2:18-22 (NKJV, et all), "But as God is faithful, our word to you was not Yes and No. For the Son of God, Jesus Christ, who was preached among you by us—by me, Silvanus, and Timothy—was not Yes and No, but in Him was Yes. For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us. Now He who establishes us with you in Christ and has anointed us is God, who also has sealed us and given us the Spirit in our hearts as a guarantee."

Is it not wonderful that we serve a God of whom His promises are always kept? God is an awesome God and makes equally awesome promises to us in His scripture. Struggling with sin? "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness," (1John 1:9), and , "Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much." (James 5:16). James gives us a promise about sin and encourages us that our prayers do indeed matter. The number my pastor gave was 8,000 promises in the Bible. 8,000! and every single one is absolutely true. This is the God we serve. Let us not live as defeat soldiers, but let us live our life everyday in the knowledge of the awesome faithfulness of God!

Joy vs. Happiness

Praise be to the might God we serve! Praise the Holy Spirit who illuminates the scripture for the Children of God! As I was driving home from Church I was thinking about a heavy metal band my friend and I both like. I have made the decision not to listen to them since their music is very angry and bitter towards life and God. My friend still listens to them, and I was role-playing in my mind how I would explain to him (a believer) why I do not listen to them any longer. This issue is my sensitivity to the emotions of music, and in most cases, the emotions in heavy metal are more exaggerated and boldly manifest than in other styles. Thus I would say that the intense anger and bitterness in this music to me is oppressive to my soul. I feel a weight, a burden if you will, on my soul when I listen to them. It was then that the Holy Spirit revealed to me this truth: we know that there is a difference between joy and happiness, and that we can have joy even when we are unhappy, but I have had a hard time finding a way to explain the difference. The Holy Spirit show me that the difference is that happiness is an emotion, which emotions come from our heart, while joy comes from our soul, effected by the Holy Spirit Himself. Some scriptures to consider: Matthew 22:37, " Jesus said to him, ‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.' " (NKJV). Here Jesus differentiates between the heart and soul, thus we can see that things of the heart and things of the souls are different as well. Also: "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law." (Galatians 5:22 & 23, NKJV). The fruit of the Spirit of God manifest in our entire being, including our souls. Thus while we ride the emotional waves of this finite human life, our souls can rejoice in the Lord! Amen!

Search the Scriptures Daily

One of the most important spiritual disciplines is the daily reading of the Holy Scriptures. While God does speak to us directly, He has chosen his primary means of communication to be the Bible. Also, any word we do hear from God must be compared to the Bible, and if it does not line up, then it must be rejected. This is not just a suggestion, this is vital to the Christian life. We all know that the focal point of Christianity is Jesus, and we learn about Him, grow to know Him more, and become more like Him, by reading the Bible every day, with the Holy Spirit teaching you.
John 1:1 says, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." (NKJV). John 1:14a says, "And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us..." (NKJV). If you want Jesus, which I expect you as a Christian do, then you must read the Bible every day. It will change your life!

Servant Leadership Training

I finally get it! All this time that I have spent at Grace I have viewed my SLT as merely a requirement, even though I have enjoyed going. But last night, with much prompting of the Holy Spirit, I finally came to understand why Grace requires us to do this "Mandatory Volunteer" work. Matthew 20:25-26 tells us,"But Jesus called them to Himself and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those who are great exercise authority over them. Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant. I was showed this verse at my church's Shepherd School, a training course for Pastors, Deacons, Elders, and Deaconesses. God showed me that if I want to become a Pastor, I must be a servant. This applies to all in the kingdom of God, and it applies to every aspect of our lives. If I want to be great in God's kingdom, I must serve my wife, I must serve the brothers and sisters at Grace, I must serve my family, friends, and church family, and I must serve even my unsaved coworkers, and other strangers I come in contact with daily. This is vastly easier said than done, but with every spiritual discipline, it starts by praying that God would train me up in this, and it starts with daily walking with God.

Now I have done a lot of spouting my opinions these last few weeks. I would like to make this blog more interactive, so I am going to pose a question to you, the readers: We are baptized as a profession of faith, essentially telling the world that we have been saved by Jesus. But Jesus did not need salvation, He is the source of it. Then I ask you, why was Jesus Baptized? If you have any thoughts pleased post them in a reply.

A fresh working of the Spirit

Ever since that famous Day of Pentacost recorded in the book of Acts, the Holy Spirit has been at the center of each new church movement. First the Catholic Church, then The Eastern Orthodox, then The Protestant Churches and so on. Mankind's fleshly tendancy is to "institutionalize" their church movements after so long, abandoning the leading of the Holy Spirit, making law out of methods of practice and worship, and bring in extra doctrine that is unecessary. Thus the Holy Spirit quietly moves away and finds a different group of believers who genuinely want to be led by God. This is the story of how church movements happen. You can follow this pattern through history, with Israel, the Catholic Church, the Protestant Churches, and now to more recent movements such as "The Jesus Movement," which today has produced the Calvary Chapel churches.
I believe that it is time for a fresh working of the Holy Spirit. We need to abandon our prior disposition towards old systems and notions of how church should be run. The core to any genuine church movement is preaching Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit. Everything else is a matter of opinion. This applies to the layout of the building, the types of music sung, the method of communion, and even what day of the week the primary service is held.
We also need to get rid of our preconceived ideas about those within the older denominations. The Catholic church has a lot of extra doctrine that does not lead to salvation, but, so long as they believe in the Lord Jesus Christ as their savior, they are saved. The point is that we must find a way to include them into our churches, not exclude them. Christ called for one church, and we must do all we can to be unified as the Body of Christ. This does not mean that we call false doctrine correct, or look away from sin. What it means is that we need to look at the how of our services and be flexible on the parts that are merely opinion.
My goal with this post is to inspire you; if we band together and seek first the Kingdom of God, we can be the next church movement. The first thing we must do is get on our knees (literally) and pray for revival in the American Church. As we read God's word and learn how the church should be run, God will show us when we pray how to act. Amen!

The Baptism of the Holy Spirit

Christian theologians debate a lot, and about a lot of different subjects. Favorites are Calvinism vs. Armeniamism (1 Corinthians 1:10-17 anyone?), Pre, Mid, Post, and A -millenialism, among others. One subject that was once debated but has been thrown by the wayside is Cessasionism vs. Charismatic Theology and the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. I feel that this is way too imporant a discussion to ignore. most Christians today have not even heard of the Baptism of the Holy Spirit, and others rely totally on it and ignore the Bible. We must have both.
I will give you the briefest of summaries to explain it, then refer you to furthur reading on this subject: The Baptism of the Holy Spirit is when the Holy Spirit fills up the Christian with His divine power so we can be witnesses for Christ and obey the commands of God. Cessasionists say we don't need it, that we get all the power we need at conversion. But how do we expect to ge the power of God without asking God for it? God doesn't force salvation on people, and neither does He force the power of His spirit on those who doen't want it. But otherwise, even if we don't realize it, we are just doing things in the power of our flesh. My final word is this: how can we grow spiritually without the power of God's Spirit?
A good book on this subject: The Baptism with the Holy Spirit, by R.A. Torrey - short, easy to understand, and concise. Torrey was the successor to D.L. Moodey at the Moodey Bible Institue, and later president at the Bible Institute of Los Angeles