Philippians

Lately I have been reading the book of Philippians. I have read it before, and in the scheme of my Bible reading it was not that long ago. For a period I was reading it quite heavily; also, I have heard more than one sermon series on it. So why did God ask me to read it again? I haven't figured that out yet. I've already finished it, with reading each chapter twice. I do not feel like I have learned anything new from this reading, but I am sure that God has something new to teach me, or remind me of through this reading. So I will continue to read and reread the book and pray for understanding until I am certain that I have received the message God has for me there.

Matthew 28:20

As you well know, it's been a very long time since I blogged. To be honest, I have been putting it off. I have not felt worthy to blog as of late. Let me explain: Since I last blogged, I completed my student teaching. During that time I taught full time at Boys Town, all school day long five days a week, but I since I am married (which I wouldn't change for the world) I have a family to support and bills to pay, so I had to work full time to survive. So I was working two full time jobs, 75-ish hours a week. I got on average 4 1/2 hours of sleep a night with 18-20 hours of work a day. Not surprisingly I let my relationship with God slip. It isn't that I stopped praying or going to church altogether, but I prayed significantly less and my church attendance was similar. I know that it effected me spiritually, especially now that I am done with my student teaching and should have time to resume my previous walk with God. It is not that simple though; I have had some growth. I do spend more time with God than during student teaching, but I'm not back to where I was, or at least if I cannot go back, I am not where I want to be. It makes me anxious that Jesus isn't as important to me as I know He should be. So what am I doing about this? What hope am I clinging to? It is the truth Jesus spoke in Matthew 28:20, "teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." Amen." (NKJV). As I taught the students at Boys Town and worked at Walmart, it was only the presence of God in my life that kept me going, and now as I try to recover from the fallout of that period in my life, and seek find God's will for my and my wife's future, only God's presents keeps me going. Nothing else. Nothing is impossible with God. Amen.

A brief afterward: even though I am only working one job now instead of two, I even though I am not staying late so much since the holidays have ended, I feel so busy. I just want some time truly off. Some time to process all that has occurred recently and all that God has done and wants to do in my life. Mayhaps in the near future God will bless me with the time to do this, so I can finally get closure on that most difficult time in my life.

---